Unwanted Attention – Privacy, Special Photos, and Social Media

Lately it seems that a lot of “social media” stuff is inspiring my blogs – particularly the photography ones. That I apologize for. I’d hoped to be talking about fun stuff – and I’m going to try to get back to that as soon as I address a few issues.

These are things that have happened to me over the last several months (some days apart) and some I’ve been part of. But, I’d like to let people know what’s been going on.

This latest incident started off on January 3^rd with a Facebook message to me … in French.

First of all, my name maybe French (and I am of French descent with a mix of several other things – Native American, English, etc), but I am an American. My mom’s family roots go back to the Revolutionary War. I also only speak English (or American as I call it). So, needless to say, I was perplexed as to what was going on and what this woman was trying to ask – in addition – why was she trying to ask it of me?

This was not someone I know, but obviously was a fan of the same actor I am a fan of, one that I recently met as well.

Apparently, because I had made a comment on one of the actor’s Facebook posts (and who hasn’t), and because my profile picture is that of me and said actor … this “fan” messaged me.

As of note … I am not the only person to comment on a celebrity’s Facebook page/post or tweet a celebrity – though I don’t do it very often. Usually it is a “thank you” or compliment on an episode of their series (mainly I interact with them on Twitter).

Many people do it and some celebs love interacting with their fans (at least the respectful and polite fans). Dale Earnhardt Jr. and other NASCAR celebrities often do impromptu “Q & A” (question & answer) sessions with the fans.

After all, they wouldn’t post a “what do you think”, “what kind of questions do you have”, or post if they didn’t want comments or the interaction. 

I am also not the only person who has used a picture of themselves with their favorite personality as a profile picture – scour Facebook or Twitter, and you will see it. I know of a few friends who have their profile photos set to that of them with their favorite celebrity. It’s nothing new. And, they have been doing it for years. There is nothing dishonest about it, so long as you are not pretending to be officially associated with that celebrity; i.e: wife, significant other, sibling, etc.

With that said …

I looked at the message and was like: “what is this, how do I reply”.

As it turned out she obviously thought my personal page was the actor’s page (perhaps she thought it was his personal page). Why I have no idea, as he has his own “professional” page; mine is “personal” with my real name. She was apparently telling me how much she loved the actor (thinking I was the person) and things of that nature. Things she’d expressed in numerous (at least 4-5) comments to the actor on the same post I’d commented ONCE on.

I wanted to reply to tell her that I didn’t know what she was saying and obviously I had no official connection to the celebrity (rather than misled her into thinking so). So, I took to Google translate to find out what it was she’d said to me.

I politely told her that I was not connected to the actor and that I was just a fan who’d been lucky enough to meet him over the summer, and that was where my profile picture originated. I explained that I used Google to translate and apologized. Simple, done. I thought that would end it.

It didn’t.

The next morning (January 4^th), I got another message from the person. That one I didn’t even know what she was asking. It translated to “you find out how”. Maybe she was wondering why I was replying to her, forgetting she had sent me the message the day before (hey, it could happen; only thing I have to think of). 

Not knowing French (or another language) is a barrier to politely solving the issue. When you don’t know what someone is asking, you don’t know how to reply without risking an insult.

And, you also don’t want to risk agitating the person either (not knowing if it is an innocent inquiry or a sinister investment).

Again, as politely as I could … I told her I didn’t know what she was asking/saying; that I wasn’t officially connected to the actor; and apologized for the confusion. I hoped that would end it. I know she (or someone on the account) saw the reply 4-5 minutes after I posted it. I was hoping that would definitely be the end of it.

As with most things of this nature, I got to thinking … and that wasn’t good in this case, or in any case.

That picture that people treasure of themselves and their favorite celebrity/person (actor, NASCAR driver, musician, etc) might attract unwanted attention from others – especially when used as a profile photo.

While it is a treasured photo, and definitely one to be proud of, it paves the way for this kind of attention/interaction. Some of that might be innocent and some not so innocent.

When I first planned this blog out I had no idea what her motives were and was prepared to “block” if necessary. I am of course no stranger to blocking people. I’ve had to for various reasons.

On the early morning of January 6^th I checked to make sure she hadn’t replied to me. I noticed “You cannot reply to this conversation” at the bottom of the message thread. 

I was filled with more relief than shock.

Apparently she blocked me almost two days after my reply to her. So, that ended quite well – which is good. This is a story with a positive ending and for that I am quite relieved. At least I don’t have to worry what her motives are or worry about any future contact from her.

This is not a new issue, at least not for me.

It started not long after my trip when there was an incident about the cover photo I chose for my “Twitter” cover. Turns out it was a misunderstanding as the person had no idea it was a replica license plate of a car from one of my favorite TV shows. That I wrote about in another blog:

 “How a Photo & Memory Led to a Twitter Hiatus” [http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2014/08/how-photo-memory-led-to-twitter-hiatus.html]

[Seemingly innocent photo I took in June 2014 in New Jersey. Set off a series of events that almost led to me leaving Twitter]

This most recent incident is going to make me hesitate when choosing a particular profile/avatar photo to represent myself on social media accounts. I’m also going to hesitate on “Project: 365” when it comes to posting on Twitter. As I’m sure some people would hesitate (about the profile photo that is).

When using one of yourself, you identify as a real person and are more credible to others. You’re a real person (well, when you use a real photo of yourself that is).

When you have one of yourself with someone famous you met – there are some bragging rights and pride, not to mention it is a memorable event that you want to share with family and friends.

But, you also run the risk of unwanted attention – such as this message from a “fan”. That may not be a good thing in the long run, depending on their motives.

If you use a “generic” photo it gives you some privacy and anonymity, though you risk being labeled as a phony or fake; even in some cases a stalker.

There’s really no winning in this one.

This person who I’ll refer to as “Elin” – is using a generic photo on their account. And, this is not their only Facebook account – they have another one (that they are friends with) under the same name (again, with a generic picture).

That was another concern about her interaction with me – the anonymity, and after some of the things I and a friend have been through over the last few years – it is creepy.

Thankfully (and I am hoping) this was a misunderstanding.

But, there is a lesson here:

Watch the profile pictures and be careful. You can inadvertently attract the wrong kind of attention. I got lucky in my case and this time.

The “attention” was something I hadn’t even considered when choosing the photo for my profile over six (6) months ago.

As of note, my profile picture on Twitter is my normal Facebook cover photo:

[This is the REAL me sitting in a replica of a famous TV series car. This was taken in New Jersey in June 2014]

I’ve been lucky with that profile photo … so far.