Online Safety with Kids and Digital Kidnapping

[Social Media Logos. Image found on Internet]

Back in December 2014, I wrote a blog titled: “Online Privacy and Fake Memories” [http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2014/12/online-privacy-and-fake-memories.html].

It was due to the fact that in December 2014; a friend (L) had called out someone about a photo, supposedly back from the late70’s/early 80’s – which you can read about on the above referenced blog. Turns out the kids photo was STOLEN from a November 2014 blog. Even though the photo was backdated to 2008, on Facebook … anyone can do that with their feature.

A mutual friend (R) stated: “wrong, but not really a big issue to worry about” in regards to the other friend’s concern about the misuse of someone else’s photos.

Unfortunately, as we saw in the case of the kids skiing photo, it didn’t stop there and was not a victimless crime. It never really is; and it isn’t stopping either. As “L” said – there are children involved in this that have no say.  

It’s called “Digital Kidnapping” or “Cyber Kidnapping”. Unfortunately it is a grey (gray) area for law enforcement. Many of the laws on the books haven’t kept up with the technology advances. Nevada just recently passed a specific law on “squatting” (you can either research it or I will talk about it later).

As I stated in the above blog, under an update, this was mentioned on the Today show on 2/27/2015 [http://www.today.com/video/today/57041622#57041622]. It was even mentioned in a news article: http://www.fox8live.com/story/28189979/digital-kidnapping-a-growing-trend

Here is an April 2015 WHNT 19 (Huntsville, AL) news article excerpt:

“A disturbing new trend is spreading across social media. People on social media are stealing photos of other people’s children. It's called "digital kidnapping."

The term "digital kidnapping" may seem embellished to some, but the victims who have pictures of their children stolen are left wondering why someone would do this -- and what else are they capable of?” (Riopka, 2015). You can read more here: “Digital Kidnapping: Madison family finds their child targeted by online photo thief” [http://whnt.com/2015/04/27/digital-kidnapping-madison-family-finds-their-child-targeted-by-online-photo-thief/].

Still not convinced enough?  

Yesterday (May 12^th, 2016), part two of a Dr. Phil episode featured a family confronting the “digital kidnapper”. Warning … it is QUITE disturbing.

Here’s the synopsis:

“Did a Stranger ‘Cyber Hijack’ a Couple’s Twins? A Side-By-Side Photo Comparison.

April and Nathan claim a total stranger has been stealing photos of their 4-year-old daughters and posting them as their own on social media.

In fact, they claim a woman named Ashley has stolen hundreds of photos of the girls since they were born and has reposted them as if she were their own mother.” (link will be at the bottom of the blog).

Scary, isn’t it?

I’ll post links to the Dr. Phil videos. But, I do urge EVERYONE to read my previous blog on it and WATCH the videos that I’ll link to later on.

In another blog … “Social Media and Intellectual Property Theft” [http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2015/01/social-media-and-intellectual-property.html] I stated the following: “Another point that was made was that the person who shared a photo that wasn’t theirs – they weren’t the first or last person to do it, that it is a sign of the times and it won’t change.”

As a friend and I discussed, unless it happens to those kinds of people … they don’t seemingly care. That’s the attitude that is going to keep it going and keep it being “no big deal”.  

There is something emotionally disturbing about people who want to “steal” someone else’s life or kids for an online profile. What’s worse is when they’re confronted … they first continue the lie, perpetuate the lie, then without emotion say “I didn’t mean you any harm” – as if that’s supposed to give the victim the warm, fuzzy feeling. As if the victim is expected to say “oh, you poor thing”.  

In the Dr. Phil case, the digital kidnapper (Ashley) is not really remorseful (her lack of a real apology is apparent) and tries to keep the charade going. She was asked by the real father of the kids (Nathan) to delete the photos some three years ago – Ashley kept going on, even up to April 1^st of this year.

Then, on Dr. Phil, her attitude reflects that she is supposed to be forgiven and “doesn’t know why” she printed the photos and continued the charade. Watch the videos.

If you (the reader) want to know how serious this is (and can be), picture this scenario … if you will:

Doris is a lovely, but lonely 56 year old lady. But, very lonely. She (in order to combat the loneliness) makes up a story (after seeing a happy couple with two kids) that she has custody of her two grandkids because their parents died in a car crash.

She shares pictures of her two grandkids (Janie and James) online and talks about them constantly. As to why she isn’t in the picture with them? She says “oh, I don’t take pictures of myself, they’re far more important to me after everything they’ve been through”.

Her online friend Mary sees Janie and James with another couple (at Disneyland). Mary calls the cops because Doris is their grandma and their parents died … so this couple must’ve kidnapped them, right? What is this couple doing with Doris’ grandkids? She didn’t say anything about the trip. After all the kids have been through, why would Doris not take them herself?

Well … what if Doris has been lying? What if she, like Ashley did, digitally kidnapped Janie and James by stealing pictures from their parents’ social media pages and reposted them as her grandkids?

And, what would happen to Doris, Mary, the parents, and the kids when this is uncovered?

See what kind of trouble that can cause? Any wonder that back in December 2014 I posted two blogs on the seriousness of this?

Now, some might argue that perhaps Doris’ family might speak out. What if she has no family to speak of, or is using an alias herself? How would we really know?

Here’s the set of videos from the Dr. Phil episodes. They are in order according to the website and “article”.

PART ONE: “I Believe A Stranger Is Obsessed With My Beautiful Twin Daughters and Has ‘Cyber Hijacked’ Them!” [http://www.drphil.com/shows/i-believe-a-stranger-is-obsessed-with-my-beautiful-twin-daughters-and-has-cyber-hijacked-them/; May 11, 2016]:

“Mother Accuses Stranger Of ‘Digitally Kidnapping’ Her 4-Year-Old Twin Daughters”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/mother-accuses-stranger-of-digitally-kidnapping-her-4-year-old-twin-daughters/

 “Did a Stranger ‘Cyber Hijack’ A Couple’s Twins? A Side-By-Side Photo Comparison”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/did-a-stranger-cyber-hijack-a-couples-twins-a-side-by-side-photo-comparison/

“Woman Responds To Allegations She Digitally Stole Photos Of Couple’s Twins & Posted Them As If They Were Her Own Children”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/woman-responds-to-allegations-she-digitally-stole-photos-of-couples-twins-posted-them-as-if-they-were-her-own-children/

“Parents Confront Woman Accused Of ‘Cyber Hijacking’ Their 4-Year-Old Twins”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/parents-confront-woman-accused-of-cyber-hijacking-their-4-year-old-twins/

PART TWO: “Will Ashley Confess”

“Parents Question How Framed Photos Of Their Daughters Wound Up In Stranger’s Home”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/parents-question-how-framed-photos-of-their-daughters-wound-up-in-strangers-home/

“Woman Apologizes For ‘Digitally Kidnapping’ Couple’s Twin Girls: ‘I Really Don’t Mean You Guys Any Harm’”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/woman-apologizes-for-digitally-kidnapping-couples-twin-girls-i-really-dont-mean-you-guys-any-harm/

 “How a Woman Used Social Media And Her Deceased Mother To Perpetuate A Story About Having Twins”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/how-a-woman-used-social-media-and-her-deceased-mother-to-perpetuate-a-story-about-having-twins/

I apologize if this blog is almost like a newspaper (or magazine) to read. I urge everyone to watch the videos above and follow basic steps for protecting one’s family. What do I do?

1.) I don’t allow many people access to my account. Not because I don’t have several requests – I don’t know some of these people. I am not going for a “most friends of all time” award. I want to know and interact with REAL people. If they’re not someone I know (either we have a mutual friend; I’ve really met them; or I can vet them) – I say “NO” to that friend request.

2.) I am not comfortable allowing people to know where I live – after all, I don’t know some of these people. I keep my Facebook LOCKED down by posting all “sensitive” stuff to only those who have my address or who I’d let know where I live (family, close friends).

3.) I am not about to let strangers know when I am not going to be at home. So, I keep that only for family (cousins, uncle, and my mom) and a few friends (who are just as close as my family). That’s who I’m going to also show my vacation posts to and pictures of my kids to. It also cuts down on potential suspects.

4.) Watermark photos with something. Keep the originals in a safe place other than a computer (flash drive works well and if you can on DVD, holds more than a CD). Try to be accurate with the file dates.

5.) Watch out for groups on Facebook. Predators can lurk here – which is obviously what happened to the Willis family.

6.) Never refer to kids by full name in a public post. Use Twin/Triplet #1; Daughter #1; DD (dear daughter) #1; kid#1 (if family has multiple boys and girls). Things like that. Also don’t reveal real birthdays.

7.) Watch the frequency and type of postings.

I said the following in another blog, but true here …

8.) Don’t be available in search on Facebook

9.) Set “friend requests” to “Friends of Friends”

10.) Maintain the strictest possible privacy on Facebook and Twitter

          A.) Don’t be afraid to have lists on Facebook

          B.) Don’t be afraid to de-friend or block on Facebook

          C.) Don’t be afraid to contact authorities either

          D.) Don’t be afraid to have one public Twitter and one “family only” account. FYI: I think Twitter needs to have a family only list or option.

11.) If anything seems suspicious – REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY!!! Don’t forget to do your homework, take screenshots, keep emails.

As I said in a previous blog:

“Just because something has been done (and repeatedly) doesn’t mean we should allow it to continue. We can take precautions by limiting what we do online to impact that privacy. We can make reports against people as well.

I don’t think we can stop it entirely, but there is nothing wrong with being vigilant about it and educating our friends to being a bit more cautious online.”

But, we should encourage legislators to pass stricter laws and penalties. Laws are useless without enforcement.

I do urge people to exercise as much caution as possible. And, as I also said:

This is not just a "minor" matter. This crime has a name. And, there are victims. And, those victims may be too young to speak for themselves.