Online Safety with Kids and Digital Kidnapping

[Social Media Logos. Image found on Internet]

Back in December 2014, I wrote a blog titled: “Online Privacy and Fake Memories” [http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2014/12/online-privacy-and-fake-memories.html].

It was due to the fact that in December 2014; a friend (L) had called out someone about a photo, supposedly back from the late70’s/early 80’s – which you can read about on the above referenced blog. Turns out the kids photo was STOLEN from a November 2014 blog. Even though the photo was backdated to 2008, on Facebook … anyone can do that with their feature.

A mutual friend (R) stated: “wrong, but not really a big issue to worry about” in regards to the other friend’s concern about the misuse of someone else’s photos.

Unfortunately, as we saw in the case of the kids skiing photo, it didn’t stop there and was not a victimless crime. It never really is; and it isn’t stopping either. As “L” said – there are children involved in this that have no say.  

It’s called “Digital Kidnapping” or “Cyber Kidnapping”. Unfortunately it is a grey (gray) area for law enforcement. Many of the laws on the books haven’t kept up with the technology advances. Nevada just recently passed a specific law on “squatting” (you can either research it or I will talk about it later).

As I stated in the above blog, under an update, this was mentioned on the Today show on 2/27/2015 [http://www.today.com/video/today/57041622#57041622]. It was even mentioned in a news article: http://www.fox8live.com/story/28189979/digital-kidnapping-a-growing-trend

Here is an April 2015 WHNT 19 (Huntsville, AL) news article excerpt:

“A disturbing new trend is spreading across social media. People on social media are stealing photos of other people’s children. It's called "digital kidnapping."

The term "digital kidnapping" may seem embellished to some, but the victims who have pictures of their children stolen are left wondering why someone would do this -- and what else are they capable of?” (Riopka, 2015). You can read more here: “Digital Kidnapping: Madison family finds their child targeted by online photo thief” [http://whnt.com/2015/04/27/digital-kidnapping-madison-family-finds-their-child-targeted-by-online-photo-thief/].

Still not convinced enough?  

Yesterday (May 12^th, 2016), part two of a Dr. Phil episode featured a family confronting the “digital kidnapper”. Warning … it is QUITE disturbing.

Here’s the synopsis:

“Did a Stranger ‘Cyber Hijack’ a Couple’s Twins? A Side-By-Side Photo Comparison.

April and Nathan claim a total stranger has been stealing photos of their 4-year-old daughters and posting them as their own on social media.

In fact, they claim a woman named Ashley has stolen hundreds of photos of the girls since they were born and has reposted them as if she were their own mother.” (link will be at the bottom of the blog).

Scary, isn’t it?

I’ll post links to the Dr. Phil videos. But, I do urge EVERYONE to read my previous blog on it and WATCH the videos that I’ll link to later on.

In another blog … “Social Media and Intellectual Property Theft” [http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2015/01/social-media-and-intellectual-property.html] I stated the following: “Another point that was made was that the person who shared a photo that wasn’t theirs – they weren’t the first or last person to do it, that it is a sign of the times and it won’t change.”

As a friend and I discussed, unless it happens to those kinds of people … they don’t seemingly care. That’s the attitude that is going to keep it going and keep it being “no big deal”.  

There is something emotionally disturbing about people who want to “steal” someone else’s life or kids for an online profile. What’s worse is when they’re confronted … they first continue the lie, perpetuate the lie, then without emotion say “I didn’t mean you any harm” – as if that’s supposed to give the victim the warm, fuzzy feeling. As if the victim is expected to say “oh, you poor thing”.  

In the Dr. Phil case, the digital kidnapper (Ashley) is not really remorseful (her lack of a real apology is apparent) and tries to keep the charade going. She was asked by the real father of the kids (Nathan) to delete the photos some three years ago – Ashley kept going on, even up to April 1^st of this year.

Then, on Dr. Phil, her attitude reflects that she is supposed to be forgiven and “doesn’t know why” she printed the photos and continued the charade. Watch the videos.

If you (the reader) want to know how serious this is (and can be), picture this scenario … if you will:

Doris is a lovely, but lonely 56 year old lady. But, very lonely. She (in order to combat the loneliness) makes up a story (after seeing a happy couple with two kids) that she has custody of her two grandkids because their parents died in a car crash.

She shares pictures of her two grandkids (Janie and James) online and talks about them constantly. As to why she isn’t in the picture with them? She says “oh, I don’t take pictures of myself, they’re far more important to me after everything they’ve been through”.

Her online friend Mary sees Janie and James with another couple (at Disneyland). Mary calls the cops because Doris is their grandma and their parents died … so this couple must’ve kidnapped them, right? What is this couple doing with Doris’ grandkids? She didn’t say anything about the trip. After all the kids have been through, why would Doris not take them herself?

Well … what if Doris has been lying? What if she, like Ashley did, digitally kidnapped Janie and James by stealing pictures from their parents’ social media pages and reposted them as her grandkids?

And, what would happen to Doris, Mary, the parents, and the kids when this is uncovered?

See what kind of trouble that can cause? Any wonder that back in December 2014 I posted two blogs on the seriousness of this?

Now, some might argue that perhaps Doris’ family might speak out. What if she has no family to speak of, or is using an alias herself? How would we really know?

Here’s the set of videos from the Dr. Phil episodes. They are in order according to the website and “article”.

PART ONE: “I Believe A Stranger Is Obsessed With My Beautiful Twin Daughters and Has ‘Cyber Hijacked’ Them!” [http://www.drphil.com/shows/i-believe-a-stranger-is-obsessed-with-my-beautiful-twin-daughters-and-has-cyber-hijacked-them/; May 11, 2016]:

“Mother Accuses Stranger Of ‘Digitally Kidnapping’ Her 4-Year-Old Twin Daughters”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/mother-accuses-stranger-of-digitally-kidnapping-her-4-year-old-twin-daughters/

 “Did a Stranger ‘Cyber Hijack’ A Couple’s Twins? A Side-By-Side Photo Comparison”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/did-a-stranger-cyber-hijack-a-couples-twins-a-side-by-side-photo-comparison/

“Woman Responds To Allegations She Digitally Stole Photos Of Couple’s Twins & Posted Them As If They Were Her Own Children”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/woman-responds-to-allegations-she-digitally-stole-photos-of-couples-twins-posted-them-as-if-they-were-her-own-children/

“Parents Confront Woman Accused Of ‘Cyber Hijacking’ Their 4-Year-Old Twins”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/parents-confront-woman-accused-of-cyber-hijacking-their-4-year-old-twins/

PART TWO: “Will Ashley Confess”

“Parents Question How Framed Photos Of Their Daughters Wound Up In Stranger’s Home”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/parents-question-how-framed-photos-of-their-daughters-wound-up-in-strangers-home/

“Woman Apologizes For ‘Digitally Kidnapping’ Couple’s Twin Girls: ‘I Really Don’t Mean You Guys Any Harm’”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/woman-apologizes-for-digitally-kidnapping-couples-twin-girls-i-really-dont-mean-you-guys-any-harm/

 “How a Woman Used Social Media And Her Deceased Mother To Perpetuate A Story About Having Twins”

http://www.drphil.com/videos/how-a-woman-used-social-media-and-her-deceased-mother-to-perpetuate-a-story-about-having-twins/

I apologize if this blog is almost like a newspaper (or magazine) to read. I urge everyone to watch the videos above and follow basic steps for protecting one’s family. What do I do?

1.) I don’t allow many people access to my account. Not because I don’t have several requests – I don’t know some of these people. I am not going for a “most friends of all time” award. I want to know and interact with REAL people. If they’re not someone I know (either we have a mutual friend; I’ve really met them; or I can vet them) – I say “NO” to that friend request.

2.) I am not comfortable allowing people to know where I live – after all, I don’t know some of these people. I keep my Facebook LOCKED down by posting all “sensitive” stuff to only those who have my address or who I’d let know where I live (family, close friends).

3.) I am not about to let strangers know when I am not going to be at home. So, I keep that only for family (cousins, uncle, and my mom) and a few friends (who are just as close as my family). That’s who I’m going to also show my vacation posts to and pictures of my kids to. It also cuts down on potential suspects.

4.) Watermark photos with something. Keep the originals in a safe place other than a computer (flash drive works well and if you can on DVD, holds more than a CD). Try to be accurate with the file dates.

5.) Watch out for groups on Facebook. Predators can lurk here – which is obviously what happened to the Willis family.

6.) Never refer to kids by full name in a public post. Use Twin/Triplet #1; Daughter #1; DD (dear daughter) #1; kid#1 (if family has multiple boys and girls). Things like that. Also don’t reveal real birthdays.

7.) Watch the frequency and type of postings.

I said the following in another blog, but true here …

8.) Don’t be available in search on Facebook

9.) Set “friend requests” to “Friends of Friends”

10.) Maintain the strictest possible privacy on Facebook and Twitter

          A.) Don’t be afraid to have lists on Facebook

          B.) Don’t be afraid to de-friend or block on Facebook

          C.) Don’t be afraid to contact authorities either

          D.) Don’t be afraid to have one public Twitter and one “family only” account. FYI: I think Twitter needs to have a family only list or option.

11.) If anything seems suspicious – REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY!!! Don’t forget to do your homework, take screenshots, keep emails.

As I said in a previous blog:

“Just because something has been done (and repeatedly) doesn’t mean we should allow it to continue. We can take precautions by limiting what we do online to impact that privacy. We can make reports against people as well.

I don’t think we can stop it entirely, but there is nothing wrong with being vigilant about it and educating our friends to being a bit more cautious online.”

But, we should encourage legislators to pass stricter laws and penalties. Laws are useless without enforcement.

I do urge people to exercise as much caution as possible. And, as I also said:

This is not just a "minor" matter. This crime has a name. And, there are victims. And, those victims may be too young to speak for themselves.  

31 Days of Cheer (Now 24 left)

Sometimes during the holidays (or any other time of year) … there seems to be “photo” challenges. Some I like, some I don’t. I do the #TBT (Throwback Thursday) ones, and sometimes #WBW (Way Back Wednesday) or #FBF (Flashback Friday).

However on the last day of the month I usually do the “gas prices”.

This year, the city I live in decided to do #31DaysofVegasCheer. I of course, living in a suburb, and wanting to spread the cheer all over, decided to shorten it to #31DaysofCheer.

Here’s the idea – take a picture each day and post it to Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook with the tags #31DaysofCheer and the item or “idea” for the day:

[Photo is property of City of Las Vegas, Nevada]

The last time I did something like this was in 2012, which you can read about it here:

“Christmas Photo Challenge”

http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2012/12/christmas-photo-challenge.html

I started on day #2 as on the first day I had another more important picture. However, since then I have been able to keep up with the “challenge”.

This fits quite well into my “Project: 365” daily photo challenge. I’m using Fotor to add borders and filters to the challenge photos to bring a unique quality to them.

They can be items in your home, decorating the tree, things like that. They don’t have to reveal locations or family information.

Here are a few examples from 2012 and this year:

[Photo belongs to me. This was December 4th – #ChristmasDecor #ChristmasPhotoChallenge. This was used with an Instagram filter]

[Photo belongs to me. This is December 7th – #31DaysofCheer #WrappingPaper. Used a Fotor filter]

Since I use a planner, I went and wrote in what I needed so I didn’t have to keep looking at the photo. And, I use the planner to record the photos and sometimes the file number …

So, from today to the 31^st, here are the “ideas”:

December 7th – #31DaysofCheer  #WrappingPaper (completed)

 December 8th – #31DaysofCheer #Green (completed)

 December 9th – #31DaysofCheer #Family (completed)

 December 10th – #31DaysofCheer #Presents (completed)

 December 11th – #31DaysofCheer #Stocking (completed)

 December 12th – #31DaysofCheer #CandyCane (completed)

 December 13th – #31DaysofCheer #Tree (completed)

 December 14th – #31DaysofCheer #Santa (completed)

 December 15th – #31DaysofCheer #BeautifulSight (completed)

 December 16th –#31DaysofCheer #FavoriteHolidaySong (completed)

 December 17th – #31DaysofCheer #Peace (completed)

 December 18th – #31DaysofCheer #MerryandBright (completed)

 December 19th – #31DaysofCheer #Tradition (completed)

 December 20th –#31DaysofCheer #Tree (this is a repeat, so if you want to vary it with say a tree cookie, tree ornament, or a different tree, go ahead) (completed)

 December 21st – #31DaysofCheer #Joy (completed)

 December 22nd – #31DaysofCheer #BrightLights (completed)

 December 23rd – #31DaysofCheer #Candles (completed)

 December 24th – #31DaysofCheer #HolidayGreetings (completed)

 December 25th – #31DaysofCheer #ReasonforSeason (completed)

 December 26th – #31DaysofCheer #Sparkly (completed)

 December 27th – #31DaysofCheer #FavoriteThing (completed)

 December 28th – #31DaysofCheer #BlackandWhite

 December 29th – #31DaysofCheer #HolidaySplurge

 December 30th – #31DaysofCheer #Reflection

 December 31st – #31DaysofCheer #Celebrate

Just putting this out here for a way to spread Christmas joy and cheer. We seem to need a little more this year! 

You can see my photos on Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarieEdwards429

I don’t share very many photos there, but since it is the holiday season ... I think it's a great idea! And, if you have one ... you can try it with your Elf on the Shelf. 

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Season’s Greetings, and Happy New Year! 

Photos and Facebook

[June 2015. This greeted us while boarding the Mickey and Friends tram to the Disney Parks. First time here since 1996. Obviously a lot has changed, including the "parking lots".]

“Pictures or it didn’t happen” …

I’ve heard it, I’ve said it. And … I mean it.

I love looking at pictures from my family and friends’ adventures and vacations. And, I like to post my own photos of my adventures and vacations.

As someone who takes a LOT of pictures throughout the year (NASCAR, Bellagio Conservatory, Project: 365, etc.) – picking out the “best” ones to share is a challenging task. As I am proud of most of the pictures I take (90%) – I want to share them all. That’s not realistic. So, I do have to narrow it down a bit. And, let’s not forget the day shot, night shot, side shot, front … the list is endless.

I leave out something, I know I left it out, and I feel lazy for leaving it out. Then, there’s someone asking “didn’t you take a picture of [blank]” – so I go find it, and post it. So, rather than to risk it, I find about 75% of the best pictures to share or something like that … just to make sure I’ve covered EVERYTHING! And, from all angles and lighting perspectives. That really adds up over time. I know because I’ve printed some that I’ve posted – I know there are a LOT of photos! I’ve easily surpassed a print count of 500 very easily.

And, it takes some time to get them sorted and uploaded to Facebook. I have to “watermark” them because of something a former friend did years ago.

To just explain that as quickly as possible: I was out shopping and I saw something rather cute. So, since I had a really great Smartphone (and a decent camera) – I snapped a picture of it. It was a “picture of the day” deal.

When I got home and signed in to Facebook, I learned the “friend” had shared (without attribution) my photo from my “personal” gallery. It wasn’t like it was an internet meme – it was a photo I personally took! And, she shared it before I got home.

She didn’t ask permission, and she didn’t even credit me. It wouldn’t have been so irritating if her friends hadn’t thought “her” photo was so cute. While it seems petty – that is a crime. It is intellectual theft. It’s looked down on by the FBI. I immediately (to sort the confusion) thanked the people posting for praising my photos and give them the story behind it. They deleted their comments and I chose to start “watermarking” my photos with the copyright (©) symbol (see photo above), the year, and my name. She didn’t even apologize for sharing the picture when I made the comments I did. Nor did she comment that “oh, it’s her photo, I thought it was cute so I shared it”. Nope. Nothing.

That is one of the reasons I don’t share photos very much or I’m selective on who I share them to. After all once bitten – twice shy.

Once I get the photos “ready”, it’s hard knowing who to share to. You think it’d be an easy choice – it isn’t. It’s not as simple as some might think. And, yes I might over think it – but the last thing I want to do is to have some kind of “drama” over pictures from an event, vacation, or … something!

Family is usually a safe bet – after all, you’ve known them their or your own entire lives. That’s the downside too. Perhaps they’re having a bad time and you don’t want to go “see what I did” and make things worse for them (or rub their nose in it). Not that I do it in that manner. But, it can unintentionally feel like that. Sometimes actions do speak louder than words. And, pictures speak volumes!

For me, a vacation is an oddity. Back in the 1980’s we went on very few vacations. In the 1990’s we went to Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm in April 1992; twice in 1993, and the last time being 1996.

I haven’t had a good out-of-state vacation since November 2005 (that was with my mom). The June 2014 trip … that was a bit different – it was just me and it was more or less a “fan experience”.

For me, posting pictures isn’t really bragging. I’m usually excited and I want my family and friends to live my journey with me since we’ve never done anything like that together (believe it or not, my vacations have only consisted of me and my mom). I live through their vacations (and pictures), so I post mine to say “thank you for sharing your life with me, here’s my life”. But, I don’t want to compound anyone else’s problems by “bragging” either.

As far as friends – that gets touchy as well. In fact, that’s dangerous territory right there!

Some friends really want to see the photos and the more the merrier. After all, some live vicariously through us. Others? After about 10-20 photos they get … well … “twitchy”. Like “how many pictures do you really need to remind you? You went on vacay … la-di-dah! My goodness! It’s not that big of a deal!”

Or, they tend to defriend you (if not block entirely).  

Thankfully no one has really said that, but we all know the type. And, like family – they too could be going through bad times. But, having pictures to remind someone of what they can’t do or are missing – that’s really crappy, if not inconsiderate. And, some are all too vocal about it. Others “vague-book” it – “oh yes, you went on vacay, nice … ever think some of us can’t? Ugh! Selfish entitled brats!”

I saw that on Twitter last year. Someone actually took my advice and unfollowed me. She was quite “vocal” about it, in a direct message that is. Though I did tell her that I used Twitter as a back-up for Facebook. And, that for some people who lose loved ones – those social media accounts are the last memories they’ll have of that person.

Puts it into perspective doesn’t it? It should. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Anyway …  

If you don’t know the people that well – you’re opening yourself up for more trouble than it’s worth – regardless of intent.

Though in all fairness – one should be able to post their pictures to Facebook without the fear or stress of offending people. That is unless the photos are truly obscene. But, we all know the “griefer”. They can’t help but make a production of their “miserable lives”.

And, then there are the “souvenir” photos. There are those (family and friends) who want to see what you got – after all, it’s a bit of Christmas Day only more socially acceptable. But, some people are not so curious. After all, it’s a form of bragging – not only did you have a good vacation, but you got the “spoils of war” from it. Then there is the “why do you need pictures of stuff you got” … yeah, I know … “those people”.

So, that’s perhaps why I’ve been holding off sharing my photos – the fear of the backlash from it.

It’s not an easy choice.

Nearly two (2) months later, I haven’t made a decision as to whether I want to post the photos or not.

Even as my orders of prints arrive (right now I’m about halfway on getting them all printed) … I’m still debating on posting.

It’s not like I don’t want to share. I just don’t want the grief from sharing.

I shouldn’t have to feel like that – however that is the downside to social media and “sharing”.

Torino Day

Not everyday you see this: 

[Thankfully I went in the back of the strip mall and not the front.]

As some may not know, “Car Stars” is going to be the weekend of May 14^th to May 16^th. It’ll feature a lot of the cars from movies and TV shows.

What was interesting is I was on the fence about going. But … it took a little convincing today, and I feel compelled to go downtown to see the cars.

Why?

Well … I had some unintended errands today (May 14^th).

On Monday (5/11), I put my car in for a few repairs and maintenance work. One of which was to replace my faulty hazard light switch. It stuck and I couldn’t use it. Either it wouldn’t turn on, or once on … it wouldn’t turn off. So, I bought one and asked the dealership to put it on while they were doing everything else (hoses, spark plugs, radiator flush, oil change, brake cleaning and adjustment).

Got my car home Tuesday, and Wednesday decided to use it and park my rental (which I was going to have for a week). Well, Wednesday night, I engaged the hazard lights to check on something. Disengaged and this happened:

[Obviously there is something wrong here ... my original one lasted for seven (7) years and didn't do this]

[There's something amiss here ...]

Yeah … where’d it go?

So, I parked it, grabbed my rental and left to get my mom from work. Now, this story takes a stranger turn before I get to today …

I also put in a laptop for an LCD screen replacement and to replace the hard drive which had been buzzing and crackling on Monday. It was ready on Wednesday as well. But … the USB ports? Couldn’t use them. Before the service, they were okay. Now? Nope … they don’t work.

[This is not good ... ]

Okay, so that has to go back as well. And, here I was hoping to have one day where I could stay at home and do nothing.

Today …

I get my mom to work and my car to the dealership. And, I get a ride home via the courtesy shuttle. Of course there are three drop-offs before me. Finally got home about 12:30pm.  Get my stuff in my rental and head over to the computer repair place. I decided to take the back way in through Sunset Station. And, was I glad I did …

[At first I thought I was drunk, then I remembered the last alcohol I had was 3oz of beer a week ago]

[The one on the left is registered in Nevada. That was the car that was being shot at when Stiller/Starsky said "stop shooting at my car". The one on the right is registered in Louisiana and was crashed closer to the end of the movie.]

Yup! Those are “Starsky and Hutch” Ford Gran Torino cars. One is registered here in Nevada, and the other is registered in Louisiana. I stopped to take a few pictures and went to drop off my laptop.

At first it was a simple issue – then nope … might take longer. So, I decided to leave the laptop and head home to get my memory card (which I left in my other laptop). But, I encountered the owners of the cars. That wasn’t the only person. There was a guy by the name of Steve who had the car in New Jersey (where he lives). His was the TV series car that Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky) drove in seasons 2-4.

These Torinos were from the 2004 Ben Stiller (Starsky) and Owen Wilson (Hutch) movie. And, this was the first time the cars were reunited since then. That movie was released in 2004, so that was 11-12 years ago.

Since the guys were about to leave I decided to grab my phone and use it. Steve said it was a good camera and I was praying he was right. And, he was. I didn’t have to ask for a picture by the car he offered. I looked terrible, but I did it anyway. And, I am not posting it. But, here are a few photos: 

[Owen Wilson (Hutch) autograph on the trunk of the Louisiana Torino]

[Ben Stiller (Starsky) autograph on the trunk of the Louisiana Torino. He is right, it is the best car ever!]

[From left to right: Antonio Fargas (TV series Huggy Bear); Fred Williamson (2004 movie Captain Doby); and David Soul (TV series Hutch) autographs]

[Better view of Antonio Fargas' autograph]

[Paul Michael Glaser (TV series Starsky) autograph]

[Fuel door. Nevada license plate is ZEBRA3; which was Starsky & Hutch's call signal]

[Curve of the stripe]

[Point of the stripe and the GRAN TORINO badging]

[Front end of the Torino. Very impressive in person. Gorgeous car.]

I was asked by Steve and the owner of the Louisiana Torino if I was going to be at “Car Stars”, and I honestly replied “I don’t know”. They both insisted I had to come down there tomorrow and the owner of the Louisiana Torino added “please”. How can I refuse that?

Anyway …

The owner of the Louisiana Torino was a great guy and he showed me the engine (351 Windsor) and told me the stories of both cars. 

[351 Windsor engine on the Louisiana Torino. 460 was too heavy for the stunts. The current owner bought this from someone who had bought it from Steve. This car originally had a V6, not a V8.]

I couldn’t ask to meet such wonderful people. And, this was something I hadn’t planned on. In fact, I was a bit miffed at having to return my car and computer back to get repaired … again.

Had those events not happened … this day would have turned out a bit different – so, that is something I’ve come to realize – things happen for a reason. We can’t question them. It’s a higher purpose. If y’all don’t believe, that’s fine – don’t bash those who do. 

But, I learned so much about the cars. As much as I don’t like the movie, I had to respect the cars and their history. I feel blessed to have had a “private” lesson in that history. And, I got to be a part of that moment.

I apologized for taking so many photos, but Steve said it was cool and the owner of the Louisiana Torino said “that’s why we have them here. Most of the time they’re in the garage”. I don’t doubt it. They’re special cars. So, they were appreciative that I stopped and was interested in the cars and took my time to photograph them and listen to the stories.

And, that is why I carry my camera at all times. It’s also why something like “Project: 365” is SO important – life happens.  Memories happen, we need to take the short time we’re given to enjoy the moment we’re living in – it won’t happen again. 

Reflections: February 18th

It’s hard knowing where to put this blog … so, I think “Snapshots and Project 365” is the best place for it.

[My Project: 365 picture. Remembering Dale]

Today is the 14^th anniversary of Dale Earnhardt’s death. Today would have been my grandma’s 98^th birthday (a grandmother I was named after). She died November 2002, a year and nine months after Dale. So today, there is a bit of sadness. 

Fourteen (14) years ago, she had NO idea who I was. She was in the late stages of Alzheimer’s. So, I decided to watch the race here and there … except for the last few laps. I had a lot to do, and I was a bit emotional. Though nothing like I would be later that night. 

Later that night, as I told my mom goodnight, I learned that Dale Earnhardt had died. He was my racing hero – he made the impossible seem possible.

A lot has changed in those fourteen (14) years. I’ve attended ten (10), going on eleven (11) races at Las Vegas Motorspeedway. Speaking of that ... NASCAR will here in 15 days. I’ll watch Jeff Gordon race one last time here. I’ve seen a lot of my favorite drivers race here one last time, and I’ve seen people race here for the first time. 

I’ve seen the Busch series race, the Nationwide, and soon the Xfinity Series. I’ve seen Nextel and Sprint. I’ve seen a lot of changes in the sport.

But that isn’t all. In the past fourteen (14) years I’ve personally changed in so many ways that I hardly recognize myself. I hardly resemble the young girl (24/25 year old) that heard that devastating announcement. I definitely am nowhere near the same post-9/11 person I was. 

I’ve had extremely low points (9/11 was the “hit rock bottom” part), and I’ve “soared among the clouds” for the high points. 

And, I mean that quite literally. Last June I faced a demon – I flew from my home in Las Vegas to Newark, NJ. One of the hijacked flights flew out of Newark, so that was definitely staring the devil down. I flew in that airport and out of it. I actually boarded a total of four (4) aircraft to take a remarkable journey. 

["D" gate at McCarran International just before boarding my Delta flight to Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport; first of two for the trip back to New Jersey.]

[A bit delayed leaving Atlanta for Newark due to a patch of bad weather. Checking for flight arrival information. I'd land in time to check in to my hotel. Check-in was 4pm]

[Making the descent into Newark, NJ. Seeing toll booths for the first time. We really weren't that late as it turned out. Both flights were awesome. Scary, but awesome.]

I got to see (from Liberty State Park) the World Trade Center and Statue of Liberty: 

[One of my FAVORITE pictures of the World Trade Center. Taken June 28, 2014]

[My view of the Statue of Liberty. Taken June 28, 2014]

Today, I realize how many blessings I really have. I’ve been able to experience things I never thought possible. Today I realize how much of Dale’s “never give up” spirit is still inspiring me. I’ve met wonderful people, met my childhood heroes, met people who’ve inspired me. I’ve been to some remarkable places and done remarkable things (even gone to concerts):

[Met Gary Sinise at the CSI: Experience. November 2011]

[Attended a Lt. Dan Band concert at the Mandalay Bay. November 2011. One of many "free" free concerts I've been to.]

[Saw the original "Starsky" Ford Gran Torino from Seasons 2-4. Newark, NJ June 26, 2014]

[Met and had dinner with David Soul (Hutch) and Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky). I was part of a select few who did. Newark, NJ June 26-28 2014]

I’ve reconnected with my family, and those bonds are stronger than they were. I’ve reconnected with some friends, lost touch with others, lost some entirely, and made some new friends. But, life goes on. And, I learned the importance of this message:

[Inspirational card I made to remind myself to "keep going". Made through my Heritage Makers business]

I can see why Dale was so tenacious on the track, it is a trait of those born under the Taurus the Bull sign – I know, I was born on the same day. Once I rose up, I never stopped. I kept going. Much like Dale (and like another person I admire and was lucky to meet) … you just keep going. 

Today, I miss Dale. I’m sad; I can’t say I’m not. But, like his son Dale Jr. stated on Twitter … I’m glad he lived:

[Dale Jr's tweet]

I don’t think I’ll ever stop wondering “what if”, but I’m not so bogged down in the “what if”  that I can’t see the “what can be” in front of me.

“I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin’ might mean taking chances, but they’re worth takin’

Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth makin’

Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sittin’ out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance …

I hope you dance … ”

That song always seems to play at the right time. Do I cry? Sometimes. But, through those tears, I still smile. Why? Because, I know exactly what give the heavens above more than just a passing glance  really means:

[My view as I head home to Las Vegas from Detroit. Delta Airlines Flight 1917; DTW to LAS; June 2014]

[In case anyone needed to see this to believe it. Yes, I still have all my boarding passes from that trip.]

Hiding on Twitter … Private vs Public Profiles

[Various Social Media Logos]

How I’d LOVE to hide on Twitter.

Before you ask why (or what) … I’ll ask (and answer):

“What does this have to do with snapshots or Project: 365” … quite a bit if you’ve read the last few blogs:

Unwanted Attention – Privacy, Special Photos, and Social Media

[http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2015/01/unwanted-attention-privacy-special.html]

That’s where I presented the pitfalls of having a profile picture of myself and an actor and how it led to a bit of a misunderstanding with me and another one of his fans. She was a French speaking fan, and I had to use Google Translate, and a slight language barrier.  

While it turned out with a positive ending (she blocked me when I replied to her in response to her messages to me), it was a wake-up call.  

Project: 365 – Privacy and Social Media

[http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2015/01/project-365-privacy-and-social-media.html]

This blog is where I stated why I preferred using Facebook over Twitter to share pictures on – highlighting the privacy settings of Facebook, and how I may not continue the project on Twitter in light of certain events related to “photo stealing”.

Social Media and Intellectual Property Theft

[http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2015/01/social-media-and-intellectual-property.html]

This is where I discussed the severity of something that happened in December 2014, and why it was a bigger issue than some people thought.

In this research, it led me to an incident in New Mexico where a woman is suing artist Anne Taintor for using an old high school photograph with a snarky message on a flask.

One of the many articles I referenced:

“NM woman sues over yearbook photo, novelty flask”

[http://www.koat.com/news/nm-woman-sues-over-yearbook-photo-novelty-flask/30548270]

And, how we can set about changing the “sign of the times … this will never change” mindset by awareness, education, vigilance, and privacy.

Finally … the one that started it:

Online Privacy and Fake Memories

[http://snapshotsandproject365.blogspot.com/2014/12/online-privacy-and-fake-memories.html]

This is where I discussed how the discovery of a modern digital photo was used to represent kids from “long ago” (circa 1970’s) and one of the people mentioned in it commented on it to perpetuate the “fake profile” theory.

However, the blog highlighted bigger problems than someone using it to validate another fake profile.

I mentioned how a friend’s Facebook post about the photo highlighted the complacency a few friends took with regard to online safety and being aware that some people are not at all who they seem.

In addition, it highlighted the need for perhaps making profiles more private, and watching what we share and WHO we share that information with.

This is where this blog is heading … 

I never give out personal information to people I don’t know. I certainly don’t post my address online, my telephone numbers, my email addresses. I try not to show too many family photos (unless the family is deceased) on Twitter. I try to keep it for public use – things I don’t mind letting out because they might come out any way or would be out as a result of being in a public place such as a theme park, racetrack, mall, etc.

My primary profile is on there to interact on a personal level with friends and some businesses, etc. With businesses I share good experiences, compliment service, and sometimes complaints.

I do have a secondary account which is a business account. I haven’t been using too much here lately. I’m hoping to begin focusing on that in the near future.

I save Facebook for family and VERY close friends – sometimes it is family only depending on the content I am sharing.  

On Facebook and Twitter … I also like to post my “picture of the day” or rather “Project: 365” photo.

Given what I learned in December, I’m hesitant about sharing my photos on Twitter. On Facebook, I have greater privacy controls for the reasons stated here and in the blogs too.

With Twitter my profile choices are either:

PRIVATE

PUBLIC

I’d like to be to select the “PRIVATE” option as Twitter doesn’t have detailed options, nor a “share direct” feature like Instagram does.

 I run into certain problems if I choose a “PRIVATE” profile:

1.) Unless people are following me, there’s a good chance they won’t see my tweets if I were to tweet a reply to them or a general “hi, great service” kind of tweet

2.) I can’t interact for the purposes of giveaways (yes, I enjoy those)

3.) People who want to follow are often turned off by the “PRIVATE, PROTECTED TWEETS” status– I’ve been blocked as well during the short time I had a “PRIVATE” account – the only reason? PRIVATE account.

Some celebrities have even taken issue with those who have “PRIVATE PROFILES” when you follow them. This I know firsthand from reading a particular celebrity’s tweets, and no I am not going to name them. They, like most of us, have their reasons.

As I stated in one of the blogs …

“that doesn’t sit well with some potential followers, even famous people. Some have openly expressed the fact they feel that by asking to follow someone on Twitter it is an audition of sorts and one stated “why be private if you’re going to be online”. They feel you have something to hide …”

Of course I have something to hide (like others) – but not for the wrong reasons.

Some people are “PRIVATE” on Twitter because:

1.) Perhaps they don’t want to share their life or memories for someone else to steal them (as what I have shown in previous blogs and mentioned here)

2.) Maybe they have a stalker (or someone who is bullying them) and don’t want them to know where they live or what is going on. After all, they shouldn’t have to give up living their life in order to accommodate a stalker or bully, that’d be re-victimizing them over and over.

3.) Perhaps it is a military family member who is keeping in contact with their family/friends back home; or the other way around (OpSec and all)

4.) It might be a teen’s account and being private is part of an agreement between parent and child in order to have the account – usually the account is for interaction with long-distance family and friends; family-friendly accounts/content; etc.

With that said, celebrities should know #2 more than anyone. They can always elect to block the “private” person or simply ask “why do you have a private profile” before blocking. I’d have no problem explaining why, as most honest people likely would. It is their choice overall – just something to consider.

They should also understand #3 as well – after all the good guys aren’t the only ones who use Twitter or social media. Don’t we all know about “loose lips sink ships” – Operational Security (OpSec)?

Number four (4) could be viewed as responsible parenting and responsible use of social media. It should be applauded as a way to keep kids safe while learning about the “online world”.

Personally, I would like a feature that Facebook offers: being able to create lists of who to post what content to. That’d make Twitter better and safer as well. But, I get the point. Some people are just leery of those who want to be private. I get it, but there are cases as to why private profiles exist. 

As I also said in my other blogs, I get that each social network wants to be different (it’s why some users favor one over the other). When it comes to privacy, that’s where you can’t have just two choices, it’s not feasible. Even Google + (G+) has “circles” you could create to post specific content to – if the person wasn’t in the circle, they didn’t see the content.

In an age where we’re trying to be so connected, we end up connecting with the wrong people. In some respect we’re all bullied near daily – whether it be on a Facebook post about our reaction to a devastating and somewhat personal event, or something we might feel strongly about … each day someone will get bullied. Privacy settings help us stay connected to those we want to and stay away from those we don’t. They are essential to controlling the way we interact and protect ourselves – even how we protect our family.

Facebook has greater privacy control than Twitter.  Even Instagram has better privacy control options (at least on the phone app).

For our safety, we’re told to lock down our social media, but yet we’re ostracized for doing so or made to feel bad for doing so. As an adult, that is confusing. To a child? I can’t even imagine where their level of confusion would be with “lock down your social media, what are you hiding for, why are you being private while online?” I’m confused. But, I’ve read it. On one hand people tell you to watch what you post on social media, but they ask why you’re being so secretive.

That makes NO sense to me. Those who know me will tell you – I’m pretty darn smart (even my college transcripts indicate that), and I catch on quickly.

I’ve had protected accounts follow me; usually there isn’t a problem when I ask to follow them. Most people approve it within 24 hours. If I send a request and they accept, fine it’s all good. After all, I can always block them if I don’t like their content. If they don’t approve my request in a timely manner, I will block them – haven’t had to do that too often though.

Here’s how I look at it on Twitter … unless you’re comfortable with me following you back, don’t follow me. I don’t mind asking to follow someone with protected tweets. It isn’t an audition – it is in most cases for their safety and security – and I respect that – just as I would expect my privacy, safety, and security respected as well.  

So, the next time someone asks any of those questions on Twitter (“why do you have a private profile”, etc.) … I might just direct them to this blog as it’d take far too many tweets to explain it.

And, when someone suggests I protect my tweets, I’ll also direct them here – sometimes it isn’t as easy to explain as it seems.